okay pat passed out under dana's car
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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