if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
