What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize