i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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