Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
