I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
