she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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