There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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