I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize