i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
