how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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