u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
operation have a gay friend backfired
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
