Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
