if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
