atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
