i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Your dad touched me again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
