I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
