was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
