everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
