Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
