bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize