would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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