quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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