the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Randomize
