You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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