break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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