Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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