do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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