No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
