I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize