i permit you to call me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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