For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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