need another drink. this is the easiest way
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
