i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
