with your own penis?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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