you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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