Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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