my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
