I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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