Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
