Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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