some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
