My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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