When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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