Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
