there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
