dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
