Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
