The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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