thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
