I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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