I hate your face
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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