you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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