Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
