I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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