you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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