I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
