I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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