Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
