Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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