that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
