The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
